A vampire, a nihilist, and a murderous dwarf with super powers, come together, aided by the powers of a young woman's magical penis, to fulfill an ancient prophecy and battle an ancient demon.
Cynthia / Carla / Catrena
Scarlet
Gregory
Nancy
Jackie
Taylor (as Danto Dwiananto)
The Earth Child
Tiffany
Angela
Mikey
Cindy Billingsley, Rookie Crime Scene Photographer
Clive / The Moonchild
Lana
Old Man Stan
The Man with No Dick
Detective 'Big' Mark Johnson